Black or White
“Ma, are you white? Am I black?” Anish asked me the other day. I looked puzzled and said “No sweetheart, we are all shades of brown. Why are you asking?” “No just like that” And he got busy with something else.
I didn’t push him and thought he will tell me later. But I kept wondering. It’s not that I never expected this question in all these years. When Anish was born in 2001, everyone was surprised. He was a shade darker than all of us at home. Unfortunately, my parents, brother, me and even my husband all are ‘fair’ as per Indian norms. No, we’ve not used ‘Fair & Lovely’, we were just born like that. A child born to such parents, grandparents, etc. should be fair or as my aunt would say ‘white’. So, when Anish was born, everyone had a curious look on their face but no one said anything loudly for obvious reasons.
Then, Periamma came down from the US to see the baby. And I remember the first thing she said “Ayyo, idu enna? This baby is dark!” My mom was embarrassed and tried to hush up her sister but too late. Periamma went on about how she expected a really ‘white’ baby and she’s surprised. “Did you eat the right kind of food?” “Did you take too much iron supplements?” “Did you have enough milk?” How do I tell her that it’s really ok, I wasn’t too worried about the color, I thank God he was born healthy and that when he smiles, he lights up my world!?
M-i-l, in the meanwhile, had added her two bit too. “How come? My son is so fair?” I kept quiet and smiled at my hubby but didn’t miss the opportunity when it came to enlighten him that not all his relatives were fair including his own brother. He must’ve taken the tale to his mom (like a dutiful son) and I didn’t hear anything from the in-law afterwards on the subject. ;-)
Anyway, I knew that someday Anish would ask me the same question. Didn’t Lord Krishna himself ask Yashoda why he was dark while his brother Balarama was fair?
So, it came again when we were reading Harry Potter. Anish, who always concentrates on the story, was distracted. He was busy keeping his hand next to mine and looking very intently. Then he blurted, “Ma, you are white, I am black” After putting the book aside, I asked him why was he so bothered? “No ma, the other day you came to pick me up from the bus-stop right? That time, my friend Rohit said your mother is white and made fun of me saying I was black!” I hugged Anish tightly and asked “Does it matter Anish? Have I loved you less?” “No ma. But I felt like crying when Rohit teased.”
I did what I thought was the best. Hugged him again and showed him pictures of Krishna, Rama, Vishnu (the Dark Lords as Harry Potter would say) and said “Anish, when we worship these Gods do we look at the color or do we worship them for their qualities?” Obviously, it must’ve been too philosophical for him to understand, I got a blank look and a nod. Then I told him Indians are all brown, only different shades and that I am not white but a little lighter shade of brown blah blah. After that he just dropped the topic, I must’ve bored him too much. Hugged me and said, “Shall we play running and catching?” End of matter for now.
But Anish, this video’s just for you. Love you always.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_uOB3UVfTY
I didn’t push him and thought he will tell me later. But I kept wondering. It’s not that I never expected this question in all these years. When Anish was born in 2001, everyone was surprised. He was a shade darker than all of us at home. Unfortunately, my parents, brother, me and even my husband all are ‘fair’ as per Indian norms. No, we’ve not used ‘Fair & Lovely’, we were just born like that. A child born to such parents, grandparents, etc. should be fair or as my aunt would say ‘white’. So, when Anish was born, everyone had a curious look on their face but no one said anything loudly for obvious reasons.
Then, Periamma came down from the US to see the baby. And I remember the first thing she said “Ayyo, idu enna? This baby is dark!” My mom was embarrassed and tried to hush up her sister but too late. Periamma went on about how she expected a really ‘white’ baby and she’s surprised. “Did you eat the right kind of food?” “Did you take too much iron supplements?” “Did you have enough milk?” How do I tell her that it’s really ok, I wasn’t too worried about the color, I thank God he was born healthy and that when he smiles, he lights up my world!?
M-i-l, in the meanwhile, had added her two bit too. “How come? My son is so fair?” I kept quiet and smiled at my hubby but didn’t miss the opportunity when it came to enlighten him that not all his relatives were fair including his own brother. He must’ve taken the tale to his mom (like a dutiful son) and I didn’t hear anything from the in-law afterwards on the subject. ;-)
Anyway, I knew that someday Anish would ask me the same question. Didn’t Lord Krishna himself ask Yashoda why he was dark while his brother Balarama was fair?
So, it came again when we were reading Harry Potter. Anish, who always concentrates on the story, was distracted. He was busy keeping his hand next to mine and looking very intently. Then he blurted, “Ma, you are white, I am black” After putting the book aside, I asked him why was he so bothered? “No ma, the other day you came to pick me up from the bus-stop right? That time, my friend Rohit said your mother is white and made fun of me saying I was black!” I hugged Anish tightly and asked “Does it matter Anish? Have I loved you less?” “No ma. But I felt like crying when Rohit teased.”
I did what I thought was the best. Hugged him again and showed him pictures of Krishna, Rama, Vishnu (the Dark Lords as Harry Potter would say) and said “Anish, when we worship these Gods do we look at the color or do we worship them for their qualities?” Obviously, it must’ve been too philosophical for him to understand, I got a blank look and a nod. Then I told him Indians are all brown, only different shades and that I am not white but a little lighter shade of brown blah blah. After that he just dropped the topic, I must’ve bored him too much. Hugged me and said, “Shall we play running and catching?” End of matter for now.
But Anish, this video’s just for you. Love you always.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_uOB3UVfTY
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